Becoming a mother the first time taught me how much larger my capacity for love really is, and now that I'm about to do so for the second time, I'm learning how deep my empathy and sorrow for others runs in my heart. It's hard to feel joy and happiness about the arrival of this baby when every day, I see photos of children who go to sleep on the cold ground with empty bellies, or a mother killed in a clinic whose children will never see her again.
My heart breaks at the thought of my children being taken away from me, or of myself dying and leaving them too soon. How can a world that God created such beauty in be so terrible and cruel at the same time? We were warned in the Bible that the world would be difficult, but I had no idea it would be because of the horrifying things we humans do to each other.
Christmas draws closer, a season where warm, loving feelings and charitable acts increase many times over. Even still, it's all tainted with this dark, bitter hatred on this issue or towards that group of people. Everyone is pointing fingers and refusing to see the truth behind God's ultimatum:
"Love one another, as I have loved you."
As a mother, my heart aches for those in suffering, and I wish I had the superpowers to do more. I wish I could bring back the mothers to their children, and give a roof and a hot meal to those who need it. I wish I weren't so damn crazy and pregnant that almost my entire focus is on myself right now.
But the best I can do now is hold my husband and daughter tight, savor the baby kicking in my belly, and hold on for as long as I can. And as always, I can pray. I don't know what to ask for God to do, but He knows what is needed. So if anyone out there is reading this, that's all I'm going to ask of you as well. I have no idea who or where you are, but chances are you're in a good position to bring a little kindness back into this world in some small way.
So please do, and have a Merry Christmas.
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